Tuesday, April 28, 2009

And They Two Shall be One Flesh

This past Monday I was asked to write a guest post for a dear blogging friend who has a great burden for married couples. Michelle from By His Grace and for His Glory has done a month long series on the subject of Marriage and I would like to encourage all of you to visit her blog and to read the other three posts. They were a great blessing and I am sure will greatly bless and encourage you.

I asked Michelle if it was okay to post here what I had written for her and she said that would be great

And They Two Shall be One Flesh

My name is Kathy and I am wife to my wonderful husband Doug. We will soon be celebrating our 23rd wedding Anniversary We have been blessed with eight children ages 20- 2years old. We are a home schooling family and have home schooled for the past 13 years.

My husband and I were saved in 1992. Since then our lives have changed miraculously.

The Lord has done a great work in our marriage so I thought I would share a few things that I have learned along the way.

In the book of Genesis we read that God created Adam and Eve. We read that Eve was taken from Adams rib and Adam states that she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh.

Do you know that we are also created for our husbands? God prepared us for the exact man that he has chosen for us

Ephesians Chapter 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh..

We are no longer single before God but we become one with our spouse.

In Ephesians 5:21-32 the bible compares marriage between a man and a women as a picture of the lord Jesus marrying His Bride the church and the type of relationship that we are to have with our husbands.

When we unite in matrimony, when we say those vows before God we promise that this union is for life.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 5 * 4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. * 5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.

When we make a vow before God we are to stand by that vow. Todays view of marriage is “If I do not like how things are going I can just throw in the towel and quit”. This is not Gods plan at all. When I finally realized this in my marriage it was a great turning point.

I thought I would share a little testimony from my life since my daughter said that this might be a blessing to someone out there who might be struggling in their marriage.


Before my husband and I were saved our marriage was very different. We followed the philosophy of the world. I should say that I did. My husband was from a divorced home and this was something that he had decided that he never wanted for his own life. I on the other hand had come from a home where my parents remained married.

I must say I was young and so foolish. I did not love my husband as I should and I was very selfish. I wanted things my way and I was difficult to please. If my husband and I got into an argument I foolishly thought that the best thing was for us to just separate and get a divorce. The way of thinking by most people in todays world.

After we were saved for a couple of years the Lord really began working in my heart and life and in my husband’s. I started to learn what a God Honoring marriage was suppose to be like and I knew that I had to make some changes in my life.

One afternoon my husband and I had a disagreement. I was upset and my emotions finally took over. I was ready to say those terrible words again “if you do not like it here you can just leave” Instead the Holy Spirit got a hold my heart and I realized what I was about to say. I quickly changed my words to this - “If you do not like it here that is just too bad. The Bible says that you are stuck with me ” My husband just looked at me, I think in shock. This is when I finally realized that I made this commitment and it was for life

As I share this testimony it is in hopes of encouraging anyone who is struggling to see that God has a greater plan and that through His grace we can have a marriage that is heaven here on earth.

In our church we have a yearly couples retreat I love attending these. My husband and I have learned a lot about having a God honoring marriage. I would encourage all of you to take advantage of such retreats it will strengthen your marriage and your home.

Did you know that marriage can be a part of heaven here on earth?

Here are a few things that I have learned that have really been a great blessing to our marriage.

Share terms of endearments, My husband loves to call me his Sweet Gal :)

Love your man- We need to stop looking through dark color glasses and start looking for the good.

Pray for your Husband! ( I daily pray that the Lord will use my husband in a mighty way to bring Glory to His Holy Name!) (I added this one here. I forgot to write this in my post for Michelle:) this one is the most important !

Be his helpmeet- There can be great satisfaction in helping your man :)

Make him his favorite meal.

When he comes home give him a great big hug and a big smooch and tell him how much you missed him
(Just as a side note our children love to see Daddy and Mommy being affectionate with each other)

Listen to him and make him feel important to you.

Talk some love talk. You know, tell him how handsome he is, tell him how strong he is and what a good provider he is. When I look at my husband in this way things really sweeten up in our relationship. How very blessed we are to have that special someone in our lives to share life with.

As I began to allow the Lord to work in my life he also began working in my husbands life.

Through these past 23 years together things have grown sweeter as we grew closer in our walk with the Lord.

May you all be blessed as you walk together with your spouse in the newness of life.

God Bless, Kathy

I hope that you will hope on over to Michelle's Blog I am sure you will truly enjoy the other posts.

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